I love the me-of-today to the depth of understanding that I no longer need to collect experiences in the rounds of incarnations. Such is my love that I live to become free. Without this great love, I would not allow myself to pierce the illusion of mortal existence.I am weary of experiences. I have reached a point where the pain of my life can no longer be ignored. It demands attention and respect. It will no longer tolerate denial, numbing or distraction. It has center stage and the wings are full of its cohorts.

This admission and commitment I make and the lights go on. For the first time I see it for what it is. It is my free will gone awry, assuming the only role that demands my curiosity. There I begin, barely aware, wondering how pain accumulated. Where was I, and who was running the show?

© Pamir Kiciman 2007

Rounds of Incarnations

3 thoughts on “Rounds of Incarnations

  • 09/26/2007 at 8:39 AM

    I think it is not so much experiences that become tiresome, but all the decisions. Every day, we must make decisions, big and small, each cascading one upon another and another. Until it seems that all we really do is make decisions.
    And yet. Is this not also the point of our existence? Who or what are we but our choices? Our choices as to how and what we think, feel, believe, and perhaps most importantly, our choices as to how to act? We are here in order to decide. Call it by another name – create. We create our world and our lives by deciding, by choosing – this color, that texture, this book, that movie, this relationship, that career. And so on and so on, until (it seems) infinity.
    Sometimes it all gets to be a bit much. How can we really know in any given moment which is the best choice? The answer is, most of the time, that we can’t. We can only press forward, in our own uniquely human way.
    When we then “suffer the consequences” or we try to second-guess our choices, we tend to get caught up in the drama, and lose sight of the over-arching purpose of all our experiences: the very act of creation.

    Oh, and there’s this: people say pain is inevitable. I recall hearing that the only pain we can avoid is the pain we get when we try to avoid pain. But that is a whole other subject, maybe.

    May your wings be cohort-free,

  • 09/27/2007 at 9:50 AM

    Thanks for your insights Meredith. The Buddha’s first noble truth is: There is suffering. My version of that is: You’re born, you get wounded.

    Decision, choice, creation. They’re kinda the same, or are they? Decisions are the most mundane probably. Choice, now that’s a life changer. Creation? That has the power to cross centuries.

    You’re right about the drama. We do have the choice to create something other than drama.

    There’s an image about the unfathomable span of how long we’ve been doing ‘this’: As long as it takes a bird with a silk scarf in it’s beak to circle and circle a mountain until it’s worn down.

    That’s what I meant by ‘experience.’ Ugh! Yet here we are. So I’m promoting decisions, choices and creation that neutralizes the mountain of incarnation.

    And increases the quality and contribution of experiences.

  • 09/28/2007 at 6:53 PM

    I enjoyed your blog which reads like a prose poem in a way. It brings up plenty ot ponder. Meredith’s comment reminded me of something William Stafford said, “An artist is someone who decides” which has grabbed me again and again.

    There is so much talk about creating our own reality these days that comes across as a sort of misguided arrogance. Did I choose this one? Hmmm, maybe, maybe not. I hope I can learn to look at it in a new way.

    Then there’s this desire to be free of incarnations and suffering on the one hand – on the other hand the teachings of the freed ones that recommend sincere gratitude, acceptance and surrender to what is. And their example of taking incarnations and suffering on out of their own free choice.

    So why would we try to escape this gift? Maybe climbing this mountain will just give us a better view.

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