Reiki Help Blog :: Oasis Reiki Dojo

Emotions are a part of life and the human experience. Emotions accompany us through life. A new color palette is given to us by our emotional nature. As stated in the previous post on this subject, feeling capability is more significant than an emotion itself, but certainly the range of human emotion is a valuable human attribute. The question that remains is: Do you stay within the confines of an afflictive emotion, or strive for the meta state of feeling with all its possibilities? The short answer is, both.

There’s validity to work with an afflictive emotion directly. Most of us are in serious need of emotional healing. It seems emotions, though unique to humans (in the fullest sense), are difficult for us. We’re in hot water when it comes to emotions. One way to get out of hot water, or at least make it lukewarm, is to work with an afflictive emotion directly, to face it, understand it and make friends with it.

There are many methodologies for this. This discussion is about the intricacies of actually doing so, not the how. Disallowing the emotion, ignoring it, coating it with something else, or replacing it is avoidance, a form of denial. One major element of emotion is that it provides feedback. We don’t want to miss out on that! An emotion is a field of information. Negative or difficult emotions, perhaps more so. Afterall, we don’t probe happiness a whole lot. But anger or sadness holds the potential to yield layers of self-awareness.

© Pamir Kiciman 2010

“Afflictive” means that which brings harm or suffering. As long as it’s done with awareness, it can be revealing and healing to stay a while with such an emotion. Stay with it an hour or a day, knowing full well you’re allowing this to happen, that it’s a learning experience. Of course there are times when the emotion is utterly dominant, awareness is subdued, and there are behaviors and associated dynamics that keep you in the grips of an emotion. In such a situation you extract yourself as soon as possible and put the light of awareness on the experience.

Hopefully, your relationship with awareness is strong enough that the spiral down into the goo of an emotion doesn’t occur. And we’re working from a premise that you’ve healed emotionally to a considerable degree. Emotional wellness is a threshold state. It launches the next stages of personal and spiritual growth. If you’re relating to life from the ‘drama’ of emotion, then awareness hasn’t been freed up enough to give you any kind of perspective.

If, however, your emotional heart is in a more wholed state and self-awareness is a routine part of your daily consciousness, then when difficult emotions arise (they still do and will), you can go with it. This allows you to feel what you’re feeling and see what it may teach you. It’s also one way to prevent what’s called ‘spiritual bypassing’ where rather than deal with it, you go around or over it and reach some kind of ‘better’ feeling, while the original emotion festers and will surface again, sometimes in explosive ways.

Emotions add color and variance to life, but they can also land us in hot water. How long and in what manner we dwell in an emotion is a key factor. Since there’s a lot of subtlety involved, this subject will be continued in several more posts…

All emotions are pure which gather you and lift you up; that emotion is impure which seizes only one side of your being and so distorts you. — Rainer Maria Rilke

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© Pamir Kiciman 2010

This was the topic of the monthly dojo meeting I have with Reiki practitioners I’ve trained. Here are the salient points.

Humans have the unique ability to experience emotions. We think that because we have an emotional capacity, it has to be like a faucet that’s constantly on. Just because we have this ability doesn’t mean we have to be constantly emoting! The opposite also happens: emotions get shut off, like a faucet which is rusted and stuck. Emotions both delight and scare us. Some equate emotion with peak experience. Some are victim to their emotional nature. And some keep emotion firmly in lockdown.

Emotions are valuable. They are a large part of what makes us human, and they can enhance life experience, as well as provide helpful feedback. The trouble is, we indulge emotions too long too, often and turn the whole thing into a command performance for a drama award. We must learn the fundamental difference between ‘having an emotion’ and our capacity to feel.

Being able to feel is the real attribute that gives life to our emotional nature. Emotions themselves aren’t as important as our ability to feel. Sadness is an emotion we don’t necessarily want. Sadness can be turned into a happy feeling. Thus it’s our feeling capacity we must prioritize. Being able to have an emotion isn’t sourced in the emotion; it’s sourced in our ability to feel. Sadness and happiness are emotions on a continuous stream of feeling. We like happiness and don’t like sadness. It’s skillfulness in feeling which facilitates the transition from one to the other.

Our feeling nature is an intuitive faculty. It comes from a part of us that’s not limited to spacetime. What’s behind our feeling ability? Awareness. Just like feeling ability is behind emotion, awareness is behind our ability to feel. Without awareness we’d be automatons. There are degrees of awareness. To increase our degree of awareness, emotional healing is usually needed. We all have wounds that need healing. Unless this work is done, emotions continue to trap us in their ongoing cycle of charge and reactivity.

Once we make whole emotional wounds, other levels of awareness open up. The emotional heart must be made whole before the spiritual heart becomes available and real. On one end of the emotional spectrum we remain in churning waters, unable to escape. On the other end, we’re happy, even exulted. Beyond either is a whole range of uncaused feeling.

Peace is such an uncaused feeling. It’s sourceless. It certainly doesn’t come from the emotional heart, or the human mind. Peace is simply there. We can access peace, feel it and embody it. We want to be clear and available enough in our emotional heart, so as to feel the peace that’s constantly beckoning us. Peace is a feeling state. It’s a state of being. States of being don’t become part of our experience when there’s still a lot of emotional crud to disperse, or we operate only at an emotional level, without knowledge of the whole range.

‘Emotion’ and ‘feeling’ aren’t synonymous. Feeling is a spiritual faculty sourced in self-reflective awareness. Awareness and its ‘tools’ lead to healing, as well as point to uncaused states such as peace or joy which inspire and propel our personal evolution.

continued →

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Heart Light
© Pamir Kiciman 2010
Click to view full-size

We are a community of men, women and children.
We live, breathe and exist together in our community.
Our community is our home, even though we also have a roof over our own family.
Gathered under such roofs, we form neighborhoods.
We leave our neighborhood in the morning and return to it in the evening.
What is good for us is good for the community.
To protect our own is to protect the community.
What is best for the family is equally good for the community.

We are fond of boundaries.
Me, myself, my family, home, country.
My goods and future.
My health. My food. My money.
My beliefs and views.
Me. Mine. My own.

It’s natural to love one’s own.
It’s natural to shelter one’s own.
It’s natural to care more about your own.

Then again, we fight with our families and ourselves more often than with others.

Community is inside as well as outside.
Community is a state of mind.

Our state of mind is our first community.
It’s from our mind and heart that we decide how much to blame others.
Blame others for our own troubles.
If in our heart and mind we would find peace, we would find peace in our relationship with all people.

Relationship is a fact of life.
There are those we want to be with and those we have to be with.
We are in relation with others in many ways.
Our thoughts, feelings, needs, money, beliefs, views put us in touch with others.
These others are individuals, and groups of individuals that function as companies, institutions and governments.
There is a web of life. The stranger we see at the bank has similar relations.

We also share the web of life with Nature and its lifeforms.

The tree’s shade and a pet’s warmth are cherished. Wheat and oranges nourish us.
We relax and play at the beach. The web exists so that life works.

Are you ever angry at an apple you enjoy?

What makes us angry with people whether they are those we want to be with or those we have to be with?

Anger disappears when we share instead of hoard.
Anger disappears when we see that our family is similar to another’s family.
Anger disappears when we notice that the fruit tree that feeds us, feeds a child whose name we may not even know.
The same cotton that we wear is on someone else’s back, the same material on our feet protects another’s feet,
and the same steel that makes our car makes the neighbor’s car.

The sun shines on us all equally.

Peace appears when we emphasize similarities.
Peace appears when we honor natural variety.
Peace appears when we realize that everyone seeks the love we seek.
Peace appears when we accept that health; happiness and financial security are available to us as a human right and not at the expense of another.
Peace is seen in the web of life when we tell our fear to grow up!

There’s not a single person who doesn’t want the basics of life that we want.
These basics include tangible things as well as success, happiness, health, acknowledgment and fulfillment.
Since we have to participate in life in similar ways to attain similar results, is it not more productive to join efforts?
Is it not more powerful to manifest dreams with collaboration rather than competition?
Who wins when one person or group wins? Only that person or group and everyone else are losers.

Who’s the loser when everyone wins? The obstacles!

Obstacles are created by us and can be uncreated by changing our heart and mind.
For that we simply need willingness and reason.
Reason shows us that cooperation brings results.
Willingness takes us into our heart and mind where we develop flexibility and compassion.
When reason is coupled with forgiveness, we have a winning formula for social and personal success.

Let us remember that the formula of reason plus forgiveness has to be applied by citizen and leader alike.
Afterall, a leader is a citizen and a citizen is a leader.
Those who are elected or rise to prominence in some way are sanctioned as leaders, yet their power is in the hands of the people.

Forgiving leaders paves the path to start afresh.
Leaders returning that trust with sincerity and unwavering commitment, solidify the path.
People taking a real interest and becoming active with the power they have completes the shared responsibility of community.
Then everyone is on the same path, heading to unity and a better life for all.

Pain, grudges, disappointment, injustice, prejudice, lack of opportunity, education or housing, poverty, ill-health as well as all the other challenges of life, and the real solutions for these are the responsibility of every single member of society.

We are the only ones who can bring order to chaos.

We are the only ones who can bring peace to conflict.

We are the only ones who can bring sanity to anger and hatred.

We are the only ones who can correct errors.

We are the only ones who can heal wounds.

We are the only ones who can monitor each other for the good of all.

We are the only ones who can use reason to see that the web of life is inclusive and not exclusive.

We are the only ones who can forgive and move on.

The past keeps us in the past. The future is ours to live. The present is where we act, assert and voice our common vision.

Mother, father, child, business owner, politician, teacher, student, professional and unemployed, WE populate our communities.

We are the only ones who can make it a place worth living.

We are the only ones who can create a new history.

We are the only ones who can…

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To see more of Pamir’s meaning-making photography, visit his photoblog.

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After posting The wisdom of “receiving” a little while ago, I came across this. It really brings home the point.

Being Held

A hardness we can’t see, cold and rigid, begins to form between us and the world, the longer we stay silent about what we need. It is not even about getting what we need but about admitting, mostly to ourselves, that we do have needs.

Asking for help, whether we get it or not, breaks the hardness that builds in the world. Paradoxically, asking even for the things that no one can give, we are relieved and blessed for the asking. For admitting our humanness lets the soul break surface, the way a dolphin leaps for the sun.

One of the most painful barriers we can experience is the sense of isolation the modern world fosters, which can only be broken by our willingness to be held, by the quiet courage to allow our vulnerabilities to be seen.  For as water fills a hole and light fills the dark, kindness wraps around what is soft, if what is soft can be seen.

So admitting what we need, asking for help, letting our softness show — these are prayers without words that friends, strangers, wind, and time all wrap themselves around.  Allowing ourselves to be held is like returning to the womb.

— Mark Nepo

The ability to receive doesn’t get much air time. Giving, that’s all over the airways. Receiving not so much. That’s why for August I picked it as the topic of the monthly dojo meeting I have with my Reiki practitioners. It resonated overwhelmingly and I’m sharing some of that here, as well as other thoughts about it since.

While I write, I’m listening to NPR’s stream of the Newport Jazz Festival. This too is a form of receiving through the ears and the soul. As a longtime jazz aficionado, I’ve never been to this historic festival but since I’m open to technology and noticed updates on Twitter about the streaming, my weekend is being enriched.

Receiving is traditionally pooh-poohed. Probably because it’s a developing nation, Hindu spiritual teachers invariably advocate feeding the poor. In Christianity there’s the ethic of charity. Even in social media, the blogosphere and new business models, the mantra is give, give, give! And giving is vital. Giving is a great way to live. It’s necessary, powerful and inspirational. We’d be nowhere without givers.  The question is, can there be true giving without also receiving?

Culturally, morally and spiritually we’re programmed against receiving. There’s a lot of judgment against receiving. It’s deemed unsavory. Receiving has been made “wrong.”

• Help and serve others.
• Share and give.
• Don’t be selfish.
• If I accept something, I’ll be expected to return in kind.
• Accepting something is a sign of weakness.
• Be self-sufficient.
• Don’t be indebted to anyone.

This is all one-sided. The ‘flow’ is absent. Without flow there’s stoppage, blockage, constipation and rigidity. We become dry and humorless. Our edges get sharper and sharper and pretty soon everyone is pointedly staying out of our way!

And it goes against natural law. Flow can’t be one way. Penetrating and yielding, action and stillness, the lingam and the yoni, giving and accepting, speaking and listening, pushing and pulling…the list is endless.

Another layer of this is that we all have broken parts, parts that say, “I don’t deserve,” “This will never happen for me,” “Everyone else has better luck!”

The universe will fill your cup — if you carry a big cup, a little cup, or a thimble! — Sonia Choquette

There’s this too: Imagine you’re a person who has a one-way flow, outward…You like to meditate, enjoy spiritual practices, are into healing, want to be a better human being. Yet after sincere attempts your practices seem to hit a wall, time after time. There’s an opening, a great sigh and then the same humdrum returns. It’s discouraging and confusing.

The divine qualities you so want to engage can’t enter if you’re ability to receive needs work. If that’s the case, take that into your practice, bring the light of awareness to that until there’s a balance. Then see how your inner experiences broaden. Notice the wisdom and power that comes through, the sweetness of unattached love, the mesmerizing light and arcing joy.

Rumi says it really well:

Open the window of your heart

Do not worry if our harp breaks
thousands more will appear.
We have fallen in the arms of love where all is music.
If all the harps in the world were burned down,
still inside the heart
there will be hidden music playing.
Do not worry if all the candles in the world flicker and die
we have the spark that starts the fire.
The songs we sing
are like foam on the surface of the sea of being
while the precious gems lie deep beneath.
But the tenderness in our songs
is a reflection of what is hidden in the depths.
Stop the flow of your words,
open the window of your heart and
let the spirit speak.

Each post for the Reiki Help Blog can take anywhere from 1-5 days to write/research, proofread/edit, and post with an appropriate image and formatting. If you leave this space with any value, knowledge, joy or understanding, please consider making a donation of your choice.

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